Mommy cries for the moments when you were all mine,
my tears seem endless, thinking of all the lost time.
my heart aches for the things I will never know, yet dream of,
I long to be with you or at least know that you can feel my love.
Mommy cries because I will never know the answers why,
you were gone so quick, I wasn't ready to say goodbye.
I couldn't fit a lifetime worth of words into that day,
and I feel sad at times for the things I didn't get to say.
Mommy cries when I can't exactly picture where you are,
I imagine a place that surrounds you with love, and it's not to far.
then I wish upon wishes that you could show me the way,
I travel in my dreams to hold you again but this time I can stay.
Mommy cries for the memories that are gone,
the ones I planned on making, the ones I missed out on.
like watching your eyes slowly open, or telling you your name,
making you smile and laugh as we played our favorite game.
Mommy cries because a part of me died with you,
I can't get it back and maybe I don't want to.
I have been touched by angel and he watches over me,
and no matter where I go, there he will be.
Mommy cries when I visit you and clean near your stone,
I want so much more for you, I want to take you home.
even though it hurts, that is where you are, where I grieve,
It never gets easier though, I still feel so empty when I leave.
Mommy cries because life goes on and I don't want to let go,
I hold that day so close to me because it's all I will ever know.
my love for you will stand the test of time, it will last forever,
knowing that in our hearts we will always be together.
Mommy cries for the days that have yet to come,
your first anniversary, the day you should have turned one.
I wonder if years from now, will it be the same when I cry,
will it hurt just as much, counting the years that have gone by.
Finding out about you, feelings of such joy
Overwelmed and blessed, I was having a baby boy
Anxiously, I knew there was so much to arrange
Curious to, a little boy, what a nice change
Content, hearing your heartbeat, especially that first time
A perfect rhythm, though much faster then mine
Your first movements brought an instant smile to my face
I knew you were safe, for now you had found your place
You were growing fast, you'd kick at night, and I'd lie awake
I felt each and every move you would make
I knew your time would be coming soon, we would finally meet
I would get the chance to put a face to those active feet
From the shape of your eyes to how much hair I would see
From your fingers to your toes looking for resemblances of me
I couldn't wait to hold you and whisper softly to you
My words, a mother's love, everything I hoped you knew
I dreamed of the beggining when our life together would start
The moment I would hear your cry, and you'd lay close to my heart
I saw you touched your small face, what a beautiful sight
I long to feel you again, just one more sleepless night
something I didn't know I had to fear
A small heartbeat had faded away
a lifetime lost in just one day
Words, I never thought I would hear
what pain filled that first tear
pure disbelief, It couldn't be
he lost his life inside of me
Words, I never thought I would hear
yet I could still feel him near
how perfectly still he laid next to me
lifeless but as beautiful as can be
Words, I never thought I would hear
a truth that made it all to real
the moment had passed me by
and all I have is our goodbye
Words, that will forever fill my head
they can't be undone or go unsaid
left with just one memory I can call mine
not nearly enough for losing a lifetime.
and I believe that it's true
when time brings us back together
I'll be able to show you
what's in my heart
what many don't see
How it feels to be apart
from such a beautiful piece of me
how I can cry until my eyes run dry
how I miss you more as time goes by
how I hold onto your memory
and keep it close to me
how my life really changed
and how it could never be the same
how it feels to have you out of my reach
and what I have learned, only loss can teach
how saying goodbye, letting you go
is the saddest thing that I know
but I believe and I know it's true
that someday I will be back with you
for now, love will keep us together
it starts with his picture that sits upon my shelf
I think years past what I see
which brings me to what should be
As if I were granted my only wish
and not another day would go by that I'd miss
each moment, each smile and each kiss
A hand that I can grab a hold of
A small heart to fill with my love
A laughter, like music to my ears
and memories to wipe away the tears
The sound of his little feet running past me
Just everyday life as it should be
Another small face to brighten my days
and make my life full again in so many ways
A happiness of seeing my little boy growing
erasing the pain of never knowing
A brand new start, a happy ending
A heart that can start mending
A dream worth dreaming but keeping in mind
It holds a part of my life, I will never find
Remember the instant joy of first finding out
It was me that surprised you, me you were smiling about
I was a piece of you, your truest love from the start
Quickly becoming apart of you, my presence filled your heart
We were bonded, woven together, never meant to part
I was your thoughts, your dreams, the plans you'd make
Your wise decisions and careful ways were for my sake
I grew because of you and knew love like no other
Your love for a son and mine for a mother
I changed the person you are and that you'll be
You will be better and stronger now because of me
I hold your heart close to mine
memories last forever
wishing we had more together
I do remember, how much i smiled
it was the last time i felt complete
no pieces of my life missing
sometimes I sit for awhile
and think of my sweet child
at times, i feel you around me
as if it's just for me to see
that love travels any distance
and you don't feel so far away
you're in my heart, where you'll stay
sometimes I feel a sense of peace
when I look in your brother's eyes
it wipes away some of the tears
carries me through the years
for a moment, i see you
I know you just a little more
the hardest part now and back then
is not knowing what could have been
time helps but doesn't completely heal
nothing can change how I feel
my love is stronger today
and continues to grow in every way
when I dream of you
it's always the same
for you to be able to feel and see
how much you truly mean to me
I remember everything about that day
just as though it were yesterday
everything I said
and everything i didn't say
I have wished to many times to go back
that's the trouble, we can't do it again
we can only remember when
I love you Camden
and I cry for you still
I feel like rivers I have cried
I know I would travel any distance
To find one answer that makes sense
He was my little boy, how can it be
I fought hard but still he was taken from me
I know I'd trade my soul just for the chance
To hold him, touch him, see him, even just a simple glance
I hate feeling helpless, it should never be this way
I've had what seems like forever compared to his one day
My heart is tired of this battle, but I know if I stay strong
A time will come that we will be together again like we belong
We are bonded by a love that never dies, it will stand any tests of time
We will have our day together and I will watch him Shine!
I love and miss you camden, my sweet child of mine...
